How did you deal with depression?

[Mary]

Please vote in the poll and tell us how you dealt with depression during and after treatment. Were you prescribed medication? Did anything help?


RESOURCES
Depression and Chemotherapy
Depression and Cancer
Goldberg's Depression test
Depression Self-Help: Living with depression in yourself and others



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[Charlene]

personally, during my treatment my focus was on survival and living to my maximum potential while letting loose and having fun.  it wasn't until after my treatment ended and the dr appointments faded that i began to process what i had been through and what direction my life would go.  everything seemed so much more complex. 

i've struggled with depression in varying amounts since.   there was so much that changed in my life in such a short time making it difficult to process it all.  accepting that my cancer history would follow me the rest of my life.  dealing with the aftermath of chemo and surgical side effects and limitations has been quite a challenge.  over time my perspective on things has allowed me to heal in varying degrees.  yet there are still times when things become overwhelming even 10 1/2 yrs later.  my most difficult points have been during my transition from patient to followup care, recovery after my several surgeries and reaching my 10 yr survivorship mark.  what helps put things back in perspective is friends, counseling, and my relationship with God.  i have to remind myself that this journey i am on is a continual process.  i try and remind myself that today is more important than living in yesterday or tomorrow.  not always easy to do. 

each moment of everyday has the potential to be something spectacular.


 

[Cliff]

My favorite subject.  Swings of depression were common... both during and after treatment. 

You think that coming back to work and getting back to the land of the living will cure all of your ills, but I soon realized that I was busted up badly compared to other people, and "not myself" anymore compared to when I left.  Then I tried to reintegrate to become what I had been and couldn't.  It was subconscious.  I didn't do it that way on purpose.  Just wishful thinking I guess.  Up and down with self confidence issues and the like.  Finally I realized that it didn't matter and that I'd never be the same as I was (or as anyone else for that matter) and to just start on a different path and be who I was now. 

After that I started feeling a lot better.  My wife also helped immensely to make me feel like a was a human being rather than some sort of mutant or lab animal.  Never underestimate the power of love to keep you going when you are at your worst.  I was running on love alone for the entire trip.  She was a Godsent... truly.  Good company makes all the difference when you feel like you're not doing too good.  She would say to me, "You don't swim across the ocean just to die on the shore"... and I would realize again that I wasn't going to go all that way just to lose to a battle had migrated to my mind.

One day I started saying a prayer to remind myself daily to fight fear and self doubt.  It worked... self programming... over and over until you start to believe it.  If you can commit to saying something like this to yourself every day, then eventually you will become that which you wish you could be.  Mine goes something like this...

"I thank you for this life.  I thank you for every second on this planet.
 I thank you for the love of my wife.  For her kindness, dedication, love, positivism, inspiration.
 I thank you for sending her to me at my time of greatest need.
 I thank you for the support of my family and friends of whom I am grateful for.
 I am positive.  Every cell in my body is a positive one.  Every single one dedicated to healing.
 I am the pure energy of inspiration to myself and those around me.  Amen."

I am not a religious man, but I believe in reinforcement with the hammer and anvil of repetition (if that's what it takes) and a dedication to fighting and never giving up.  Cancer doesn't always leave the mind after it has left the body.  Sometimes, even when the disease is gone, it somehow lingers in your mind still managing to tear things up (like it did with me)... and then it has to be fought there in order to really get rid of it once and for all.

"You don't swim across the ocean just to die on the shore..."  I love that.  It kept me going.  :-)

[Katie_Z]

I started taking Lexapro soon after being diagnosed. I believe it has helped me tremendously through the anxiousness and depression I felt... In fact, I think regardless of the bone cancer it is good for me. I feel like I am more "myself and normal". I am starting to get out more, exercise, less on edge and able to think more clearly, so much more than I have in the past year or so. I am on a low dose, 10mg/day... its just enough to take the edge off though.

[Tara]

zoloft...... 50 mg a day was prescribed because I was determined I had cancer.... and the doctors said I didn't  .  Well... It turned out to be a good thing because I was already on it when I was diagnosed a few months later.

Probably why I took the news alot better than everyone else did.  Also, they give you ativan for nausea - works realllllly good for those scanxiety sessions.   

[Rene]

I voted no, but I am not including the 2 or so weeks after I was first diagnosed. That was a really dark time for me. Since then we've made a game plan with my doctors, and I have fought, fought, fought this stupid cancer. I haven't had any depression since. I am now ending my treatment and I am anxious, but I wouldn't call it depressed.

[Cari]

Prozac 10 mg half way through chemo--when I couldn't stop crying and I really didn't have a reason for crying to begin with--those were not fun times!!!!