I went to a really good lecture last night by Professor Charles Sabatino. He is a philosophy/religion professor who has been working with the Cancer Wellness Center
for five years. Here are some of the thoughts he shared.
1. What you cannot talk about has the control in your life. What you cannot talk about is bigger than you. If you can talk about it, you become bigger than it.
2. Patients often want to connect and protect at the same time. And their spouses often find that they don't know what to say or do. Then the distance starts. So, how do you help someone begin to talk in this situation? BE AN EAR. Don’t fix, just listen. Ask questions. Create a safe place. Allow people to find their own way. Empathize, appreciate the pain, be a sounding board for it. There is no fixing it…listen.
3. Healing is truly being okay with yourself even when everything isn't okay. Wellness is about you
, not just your body.
4. Many people say that life becomes more meaningful after diagnosis. There is no more sense of spirituality than to be given a death sentence and to find meaning. Finding the strength and courage to go on is
spirituality. Spirituality is about discovering your capacity, your strength to go through your journey. Imagine going through the treatments without believing that it was worth it.
5. One of the most important things we do with our lives is die. There can be no life without dying, and we only die while we’re alive. The decision that we must make is that cancer isn’t going to be allowed to destroy identity and meaning in life. We can choose to spend time living, whether or not we are dying.
6. Love is how you remain when you’re gone. The love that you give and receive remains. To be able to die in the face of love is to be able to die as a part of something that remains.